This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize