Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
