If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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