well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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