if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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