C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
