Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
