it wasn't lemon gatorade
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
