so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize