Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
