I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
