i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
