Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
