i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
