So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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