im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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