the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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