go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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