Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
