She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Damn victory sex feels great
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
