I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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