We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
