Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
