im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
