the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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