You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
