Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
