R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
are you so shy because you have an std?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
