dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
