I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
