She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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