i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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