quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
