We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
