Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
