why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
