I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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