I think my vagina is haunted
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
