you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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