she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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