butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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