it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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