My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
