it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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