I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
