But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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