If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Banned from zoo.
Again?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
