Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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