Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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