I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
