Apparently you make a good broom.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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