I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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