i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
