This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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