i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
