she looked like the before picture.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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