the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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