I've blown a few things in my day
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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