32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
