therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
