Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
