You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
