Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
These tits shall not be calmed
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
