If i come over, it means nothing
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
