Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
