I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
