I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
