Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
