All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
