i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
